Pumpkin Doughnut Pleasure

In these early months since Rick's passing, I have been in a constant state of thinking...where do I go from here?

Once again, I look to reinvent and redirect my life's plan. This state of limbo can be paralyzing. Nothing seems to make sense or to seem appropriate. Where do I now belong? What shall I do next? During Rick's journey with cancer, I spent much time researching diet changes and nutrition (because this was a priority to Rick). There are so many eye opening studies that teach us that we are what we eat. One thing that I remember reading, was that God has given us all we need to cure ourselves...mainly by taking responsibility of what we eat. 
 

Up until this turning point in my life, my life's mantra has been...Everything is better with butter! Rick always leaned to the healthier side of the menu and gently tried to introduce me to this sort of thinking. Juicing vegetables was a whole new thought process for me...until the cancer! 

I have always had a joy for cooking and sharing that with others. I have in this life time owned my own tea room and a sweet coffee shop/cafe. When preparing for an event, I found great joy standing in the checkout line with numerous boxes of butter and creams...I teased that I was clogging arteries all over the county! I'm a butter girl who is now in a state of transition. With the help of my husband, I have learned that we are what we eat.

During my husband's cancer journey, he chose to pursue a treatment that is not available in the United States. I hesitantly/fearfully agreed to join him in this decision. We packed our things and flew across the country to Tijuana. A part of the treatment was for the patient and their support person to participate in a vegan based diet. The thought was that we together would develop a lifestyle change and implement this into our lives when we returned home. My first thoughts were those of fear...I'm not a vegetarian and for that matter, I'm not even that crazy about veggies! Come on, where's my butter? Their food presentations were bland and troublesome, but taking one for the team, I participated. While secluded in our hospital room I dived into learning and understanding this new way of thinking. 

My past cooking experiences included what I called "pretty food".  We eat with our eyes, as well as our palate. My new mission was to learn how to take these new and healthy food options and turn them into something that wasn't only pleasing to the palate, but also pleasing to the eye. As resistant as I might have been to this lifestyle change, it now has become a part of my life. The Hispanic speaking staff had their way with me...they won their gentle battle. 

Now that I am home and alone in my Grievers Cocoon, I find solace in a fridge stocked with organic carrots, fruits and veggies. Rick would be proud. I am exploring enrolling in a program to become a Nutrition Therapist, in hopes to somehow share with others what I have learned along the way. I haven't bought a stick of butter since our return!

Update...I will soon be finishing up my nutrition therapy studies.  I just had to share the one cool thing I have learned along this new journey:  butter is not the bad guy!  As a matter of fact, healthy fats are essential to our diets.  What I now strive for is organic, chemical-free, properly prepared nutrient-dense whole foods.   My new mantra...Everything is still better with butter...as long as it's organic!  :D