This morning I'm feeling tired and brain fog-ish after a whirlwind weekend in Austin, Texas. (Sort of how you might feel after a big weekend of drinking, only I wasn't drinking!) With extreme relief (and pride) I will share that I passed all written and functional testing to become a Certified Nutrition Therapy Practitioner!!
Words could never express the panic that I was feeling prior to each testing session over the weekend. I stayed up until the wee hours of each night studying/cramming info into my brain; always hating to stop and turn out the lights. I had such a sense of fear, thinking if I studied just a little bit longer, it would somehow make a difference. My brain was on overload. We talk a lot about adrenal fatigue in this program and I will have to say, last weekend my poor adrenals were put to the test!
To be certain, I wasn't the only student in the program feeling this intense stress and worry. We have all been passionately working our way through this information-packed program and now my friends, it was show time! When I arrived each morning for the testing, all of the gals were spread around the room taking one last nervous look at notebooks and study guides...unusually quiet and sporting a slight sense of panic.
An amazingly inspiring moment for me was the day before the functional evaluation testing. I wasn't feeling confident in my skills and during the practice sessions it was blazing-ly obvious. Later in the day, I had a moment to chat with my instructor and when she asked how I was feeling, I of course shared my nervous anticipation regarding the testing that lie ahead. Her reply is one that I will remember forever. She looked at me and said, "Are you serious? After everything that you have been through, you are letting this little thing bother you?" (Thank you Cathy for those words...you are truly an inspiration and the Super Woman of Nutrition!) :D
Her words rocked through my soul. She was right. She knew of my journey with my husband's cancer and how that had been my inspiration to embark upon this journey in the first place. I had been a warrior in a battle against cancer for Lord's sake. I had somehow, somewhere found some sort of inner strength to walk through that storm and now was the time to take what I have learned and try to make a difference for others!
I walked into that classroom the following morning with a new sense of power. It was time to stop doubting myself and move forward. And that is exactly what I did. My scoring wasn't perfect by any means, but I made it. I worked my way through the testing, wanting to prove to myself that I could indeed accomplish this. After I was finished, the examiner and I sat together reviewing my scoring. It was when she said those words..."You passed" that I softly began to cry.
Sorry, it was such a rush of emotions, I just couldn't help myself. Fatigue, relief, joy and self-pride....quite an emotional cocktail!! I wanted/needed to do this for myself and also in memory of my dear Rick. He would have loved this new journey of mine. How I wish he could have been here to share in this accomplishment with me. It is his love and inspiration that will propel me forward to pursue this passion of mine...somehow making a positive difference for others.
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined."
Here we are...brave new warriors in nutrition and our ever-so patient instructors!
Good luck everyone! XXOX